The First Yes

Yeah. That Arnold Schwarzenegger.

So do Codie Sanchez, Scott Galloway, Colin & Samir, Shaan Puri, and Jay Shetty. And none of them are doing it for fun. They're doing it because a list you own compounds in ways that social media never will.

beehiiv is where they built it. You can start yours for 30% off your first 3 months with code PLATFORM30. Start building today.

Earlier this week I wrote about the first reach out. The short, direct message I sent from a basement desk to a former client. Today is what happened after.

Specifically, what happened between sending the message and getting a reply. And what that reply actually did.

The Waiting

I hit send on the message and sat there for a minute at the desk in the basement doing the thing where you immediately second-guess every word you just sent.

Was it too short. Too casual. Did the tone come across as confident or oblivious. Should I have said more. Should I have said less. Is this person going to see this and think, who does this guy think he is reaching out like nothing happened.

I had to actively stop that spiral. Once you send a message, every additional thought about whether you should have sent it is wasted energy. Whatever happens next is not in your hands.

I closed the laptop and went upstairs and did something else. I do not remember what. Whatever it was, it was better than staring at my inbox for a reply that was not going to come in the next ten minutes no matter how hard I stared.

The Reply

It came a day or two later. I do not remember the exact timing. What I remember is the notification.

I opened it. Short. Good to hear from you, yes let's find a time, here is when I am free.

That was it. A few lines. Warm but not effusive. Professional. A calendar window for a call.

I did not feel relief in a dramatic way. What I felt was steadiness. A part of my brain that had been running low-grade worry for weeks just quieted down for a minute.

Because here was evidence. Small, specific, real evidence. Someone who had worked with me before got my message, read it, and wrote back. That is all that happened. But that was all that needed to happen in that moment.

What One Yes Does

I want to be careful not to oversell this.

One yes did not fix anything. It did not pay bills. It did not bring the business back. It did not validate me as a consultant again. None of those were true after that reply, and any of them would have been premature to believe.

What one yes did do was change the math.

Before the reply, the math was: can I get anyone to respond at all. That question felt open-ended. Possibly zero. Possibly a long time. Every day without a reply fed the worry.

After the reply, the math shifted. The answer to the can I get anyone to respond question was now yes, at least this one person did. Which meant the question changed. The new question was: how do I turn responses into conversations and conversations into work.

That is a completely different question. The first is existential. The second is operational. Operational questions you can work with. Existential questions just loop.

One yes did not save me. One yes gave me a new question. And working on a new question is a much better use of energy than grinding on an existential one.

The Takeaway

If you are in a rebuild and waiting for something to land, keep sending.

The first yes does not fix the situation. It changes the math.

And when the math changes, you get a new question to work on.

That is more than enough to keep going.

THIS WEEK I'M THINKING ABOUT

You Cannot Outwork an Identity You Don't Believe In.

Before the reply, the version of me that was reaching out had to believe, on faith, that he was someone worth replying to. After the reply, he had a small piece of evidence to point to. But the belief had to come first.

If you cannot reach out until you have evidence that the reaching out will work, you will never get the evidence. The belief has to be there before the data. That is the part that feels unreasonable. It is also the part that is required.

Not blind belief. Working belief. Enough to send the next message.

ONE THING TO TRY THIS WEEK

Send one message you have been putting off.

A former client. An old colleague. Someone you have been meaning to reconnect with. The reach out that would move things forward but feels uncomfortable to make.

Keep it short. Do not over-explain. Then close the laptop and do something else.

READER QUESTION

What is the message you have been meaning to send? Who is on the other end of the reach out you keep putting off. What is the worst case scenario if you just sent it today.

Reply to this email and tell me. I read every one.

This week on the podcast:

Wednesday — Episode 07: Rebuilding the Consultancy: Day One With Nothing (Story)

Thursday — Episode 08: Reputation Zero (Lesson)

Friday — Episode 09: The First Yes (Moment)  ← You are here

If this landed, share it with one person who needs it.

Dan Kaufman  |  Grace Over Guilt  |  graceoverguilt.com